shyness – The Trailer Park MFA

Another Aftermath

Joe isn’t done with me yet. He and Laura have been best friends for years, and they decide it will be good for me to talk with him on the phone regularly. I don’t know what his girlfriend thinks about this, but she apparently doesn’t get a vote. Neither do I. My stomach clenches everyContinue reading “Another Aftermath”

When Diving Under the Table Isn’t Enough

Recently, I went to a Seattle bar hosting festivities in honor of the Scottish poet Robert Burns. As my friend and I ate our haggis and enjoyed the bagpipes, someone volunteered himself as company. A man in his sixties slid into our booth and beamed his red cheeks and full white beard straight at me. HeContinue reading “When Diving Under the Table Isn’t Enough”

When Did Gentle Become Weak?

Dave Eggers’ 2006 novel, What Is the What, opens with a violent robbery for which the narrator, a Sudanese refugee, blames himself. Earlier that day, he came across his attackers in his neighborhood, and smiled at them. Now held at gunpoint, the refugee asks himself, “Why did I smile at this woman? I smile reflexively and itContinue reading “When Did Gentle Become Weak?”

A Good Guest

Tonight I worked a late substitute shift at a library two hours from my house. When I walked in the door, the staff at the front desk had no idea who I was or what I was doing there. The first man I approached stared at my badge like it was covered in hieroglyphs. AndContinue reading “A Good Guest”

Courage in All Its Forms

I love this painting. It hangs on a white wall in a spare black frame in the Museum of Modern Art at 11 West 53rd Street, Manhattan. Kazimir Malevich painted it, probably in 1912, amidst Russia’s bloody and prolonged transition from imperial state to democratic republic. With Russia’s loss of the Russo-Japanese War in 1905,Continue reading “Courage in All Its Forms”

I’m Shy. Deal With It.

Or so I used to think. But then I realized it was getting out of hand. I thought I was just an introvert, mistaken for a shy person. Introverts often prefer to be alone; shy people are scared of social interactions with strangers. It’s a big difference. And then I ventured forth into the world.Continue reading “I’m Shy. Deal With It.”