My Life Is Out of Control, So I’m Trying Goals

Some people scoff at goal-setting. They think it’s new age-y. Or they think it’s fear-driven. Or they think what’s the point? Life isn’t in our control anyway. Which for many of us—especially the lower our incomes, the poorer our neighborhoods, the more marginalized our gender and orientation, the darker our skin, and the more healthContinue reading “My Life Is Out of Control, So I’m Trying Goals”

Those 2020 Writing Goals: One Month Follow-Up

So five weeks ago, I made a deal with myself. Write when chronic illness allows me to, but shoot for three to four days a week. And on those three or four days each week, just do what I can. If I can only write for five minutes, then that’s five minutes of jotting downContinue reading “Those 2020 Writing Goals: One Month Follow-Up”

New Books

In my ongoing quest to read literary fiction that is not all about straight white men having affairs, wanting to have affairs, or trying to get out of affairs (oh, what woe to be man!), I used my 39th birthday as an excuse to add to my reading pile. And here’s what’s coming up! IContinue reading “New Books”

What I’ll Be Doing in 2020

Ever since my goal of completing a post-diagnosis 5K hit a wall in October 2019, I’ve been skittish about setting goals. That weekend when I missed the race—the one I’d registered and trained for, that friends and family were coming to—I plummeted into such a deep depression that I didn’t see the other side untilContinue reading “What I’ll Be Doing in 2020”

Planning for Happiness: Four Tips for the Happiness-Resistant

Shit will happen. And it will happen on its own timetable. There is absolutely nothing any of us can do about that. We can prepare for the worst. We can try to accrue savings accounts (I’ve often failed at this). We can nurture the friendships that nurture us. We can be responsible with our healthContinue reading “Planning for Happiness: Four Tips for the Happiness-Resistant”

A Year of What Matters Most

In 2014, I launched my new year on this blog with a set of goals that proved to be mighty powerful. I wanted to try something that scared me. So I took swimming lessons and joined Toastmasters to hone my public speaking. Check. I wanted to tackle major life goals. I’m now in grad schoolContinue reading “A Year of What Matters Most”

Why I Love Grad School, or Please Talk Career Options with Your Daughters

When I was 22, my undergraduate professors started to ask where I’d be going next. Everyone assumed it would be grad school. My art history professor, a supportive, wry-humored expert in Mexican art named Deborah Caplow, especially believed I would make a career for myself in art criticism and teaching. My future, cast in theirContinue reading “Why I Love Grad School, or Please Talk Career Options with Your Daughters”

Mormon Feminista

One week in Laurels, the Sunday School class for 16 to 17-year-old Mormon girls, my teacher passed out pairs of knitted white baby booties and Xeroxed excerpts from a 1950s women’s magazine. While the boys down the hall talked football, college, and career goals, we read about what sort of wives we would become. After you marry, you willContinue reading “Mormon Feminista”

The Videogame That Changed My Life

I’m not a gamer. I didn’t even know what IRL meant until a few months ago. Shameful, for a girl from Seattle. But then, I came up against a challenge that nothing but a videogame was going to get me through. In July 2013, I was in excruciating pain. I couldn’t turn my head more thanContinue reading “The Videogame That Changed My Life”

12 Ways to Scare Yourself Silly in 2014

Eleanor Roosevelt once advised, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I’ve always thought aiming for that daily was a bit much. Maybe once a week? But courage is a muscle, a skill. I’m not a brave person by nature. I’m timid and prefer my routines. And, like most people I’ve met, I have to train myself toContinue reading “12 Ways to Scare Yourself Silly in 2014”