There Is No Normal to Go Back To

I’m happy for friends and family who, as they get vaccinated, look forward to resuming travel, family visits, and hikes with friends. The vaccine is great news not only for its potential to dramatically reduce further deaths but also for everyone who has found themselves at their wit’s end over the past year. But theContinue reading “There Is No Normal to Go Back To”

The End of Family

The last time I saw my father was in Austin, Texas. I was 25. My brother and I flew down to see our parents with high hopes for their happiness. They said they loved the city, that they loved the pace of it, that they were happier there than in their Seattle suburb. My brotherContinue reading “The End of Family”

Shelving Books

Libraries are not what you think. They are not havens. They are not sanctuaries of peace and learning. Each morning I unlocked the book drop-off bins and wheeled the returned books into the library. Sometimes orange juice or applesauce had been spilled on a book jacket. Other times, the stench from a pile of spyContinue reading “Shelving Books”

Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There

Anger, like depression, is a stress response, and both can shorten our life expectancy. I’ve been facing some hard facts lately, and one of them is that I go around packing anger like a loaded gun. Still. Don’t get me wrong. Anger serves us well in many situations. It protects us from people who wouldContinue reading “Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There”

Home Has Magnetic Pull

When I was living on my own, it didn’t matter what time I got home. Or whether I came home at all. I took bus rides just for the fun of it and hopped off when I felt like it, boots slapping against the pavement of some new street in an unfamiliar city. I wandered.Continue reading “Home Has Magnetic Pull”

Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices

Please. Just please stop already. I know it comes from a good place. Kind of. But stop it. So here’s half of the problem: my librarian team has a wicked sweet tooth. Just saying. But here’s the other half: one library coworker has diabetes. His philosophy is to eat what he likes and take insulin shotsContinue reading “Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices”

10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life

It’s been fun blogging about dating this week, since I’m so new to the concept. But I wanted to close with a few thoughts on being single. Between the ages of 20 and 30, I was in a committed relationship with one man. In essence, I grew up in that relationship. But since the divorce,Continue reading “10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life”

A Lot to Learn

Becoming aware of privilege is never comfortable. But it’s always necessary. I’m in San Francisco for the weekend, the “awkward straight” girl at a gaming convention for “queer geek culture.” And I’m loving every minute of it. My awareness of the world is heteronormative. And, as a straight person, I get to take that forContinue reading “A Lot to Learn”

The Communities We Come By

Back when my brother and I were living in our first apartment, and I was 24, I went through this three-year obsession with self-help books. I read up on style, relationships, making friends, nutrition, career planning. One book recommended asking someone a series of questions about me. I was supposed to choose someone who knewContinue reading “The Communities We Come By”