There Is No Normal to Go Back To

I’m happy for friends and family who, as they get vaccinated, look forward to resuming travel, family visits, and hikes with friends. The vaccine is great news not only for its potential to dramatically reduce further deaths but also for everyone who has found themselves at their wit’s end over the past year. But theContinue reading “There Is No Normal to Go Back To”

My Life Is Out of Control, So I’m Trying Goals

Some people scoff at goal-setting. They think it’s new age-y. Or they think it’s fear-driven. Or they think what’s the point? Life isn’t in our control anyway. Which for many of us—especially the lower our incomes, the poorer our neighborhoods, the more marginalized our gender and orientation, the darker our skin, and the more healthContinue reading “My Life Is Out of Control, So I’m Trying Goals”

Why the Rape Wasn’t Your Fault: An Open Letter

A lot of blog posts address men who believe rape is, at least in part, the responsibility of the victim—rather than the rapist. Or they address men open to hearing about this experience in the hope of educating them and building allies. This post is going to be a little different. I’m writing just for theContinue reading “Why the Rape Wasn’t Your Fault: An Open Letter”

Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There

Anger, like depression, is a stress response, and both can shorten our life expectancy. I’ve been facing some hard facts lately, and one of them is that I go around packing anger like a loaded gun. Still. Don’t get me wrong. Anger serves us well in many situations. It protects us from people who wouldContinue reading “Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There”

Workaholism: When You Just Can’t Quit

Quitters are losers, right? But maybe you find yourself still up at 1:30 in the morning, working on a project that’s not exactly urgent. Alert and hyper-attentive to everything but your night-owl family member. And that’s when it hits you–you might be addicted to work. That was my realization, anyway. Workaholism goes by many definitions, but most boilContinue reading “Workaholism: When You Just Can’t Quit”

Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices

Please. Just please stop already. I know it comes from a good place. Kind of. But stop it. So here’s half of the problem: my librarian team has a wicked sweet tooth. Just saying. But here’s the other half: one library coworker has diabetes. His philosophy is to eat what he likes and take insulin shotsContinue reading “Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices”

Reblog Friday: Sally Kohn and Respect for Your Political Opponents

This Friday I raise my glass of Syrah to Sally Kohn. In her six-minute TED talk, she cuts to the heart of exactly what’s missing from American politics: compassion and respect in our political discourse. And liberals get as much as the blame as conservatives. As a progressive lesbian among heterosexual conservatives at FOX News, KohnContinue reading “Reblog Friday: Sally Kohn and Respect for Your Political Opponents”

10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life

It’s been fun blogging about dating this week, since I’m so new to the concept. But I wanted to close with a few thoughts on being single. Between the ages of 20 and 30, I was in a committed relationship with one man. In essence, I grew up in that relationship. But since the divorce,Continue reading “10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life”

Responsible Fiction: Toe to Toe with Difference

Writers have to get outside their own skin. But sometimes I get overeager to inhabit differences. And I write about characters I have no chance of understanding. So I just finished revisions on a short story about an Ethiopian immigrant who runs into his past. At the grocery store, he comes across a woman who witnessed anContinue reading “Responsible Fiction: Toe to Toe with Difference”