compassion – The Trailer Park MFA

Commonality

I cannot thank you enough. For in reading my story, you have become part of it now, too. All survivors need to be heard. Need to be believed. It is part of how we can heal each other. It is a gift. Thank you. But my story has only been a grain of sand inContinue reading “Commonality”

Learning That Disability Isn’t Your Fault

“So I’m going to keep getting better, right?” I asked. My neurologist looked at me for a moment. “Probably not,” he said. “Migraines are an oversensitivity of the brain. There’s no cure for that. It will fluctuate. Some months you may have no symptoms, and then it will be very bad for several weeks because youContinue reading “Learning That Disability Isn’t Your Fault”

Create Nuanced Characters with a Writer’s Journal

When I was in my twenties, I wrote loads of crap. I say this with pride, not shame. Hey, I was learning. Still am. The key was that I wrote loads–and that I practiced until each piece became a tiny bit better than the last. But here was the contributing factor to the crap part:Continue reading “Create Nuanced Characters with a Writer’s Journal”

The Healing Grace of Friendship

My father, like most fathers of daughters, had no sense of fairness. On camping trips, he assigned my mother and me to dish duty while he and my brother built fires and checked fuel and lit lanterns. I asked to learn, and he always refused. Maybe he genuinely thought these were skills I’d never need.Continue reading “The Healing Grace of Friendship”

What (Not) to Say to People with Chronic Conditions

“But isn’t there something you can take?” If you have a chronic condition like me, this question camps out on your front porch like a creeper and waits to hop into every visitor’s mouth. “But isn’t there something you can take?” It comes from the best of places, I promise. The people around you just don’tContinue reading “What (Not) to Say to People with Chronic Conditions”

Why You Can’t Fight Anger with Anger, or It’s Not about You

Or, more precisely, you can. But you won’t win. We all have that special someone in our lives. That someone who challenges and unsettles us in ways we’d rather not be challenged. My very own special someone exudes hostility and anger into the atmosphere. And hostility and generalized anger are my Achilles’ heel–socially. I don’tContinue reading “Why You Can’t Fight Anger with Anger, or It’s Not about You”

Navigating Religious Differences: An Agnostic Visits Christian Family

I grew up in a religious community that fanatically converted neighbors, friends, and relatives. A Sunday wouldn’t go by without a reminder to pick up extra copies of The Book of Mormon and hand them out when God so moved us. But the world grows thick with difference, and to cull the diversity through conversionContinue reading “Navigating Religious Differences: An Agnostic Visits Christian Family”

Reblog Friday: Sally Kohn and Respect for Your Political Opponents

This Friday I raise my glass of Syrah to Sally Kohn. In her six-minute TED talk, she cuts to the heart of exactly what’s missing from American politics: compassion and respect in our political discourse. And liberals get as much as the blame as conservatives. As a progressive lesbian among heterosexual conservatives at FOX News, KohnContinue reading “Reblog Friday: Sally Kohn and Respect for Your Political Opponents”

Trauma and Compassion

What if the value of our suffering–its use–is that it gifts us with compassion? I think all along I have taken the wrong approach. As a writer, I believed I was writing about my suffering. But the truth of suffering is that it is the collective, common experience of our species–and indeed of life. Akira Kurosawa wrote,Continue reading “Trauma and Compassion”

The Limitations of Self

We are each limited by our perceptions of the world. We get only one perspective, one pair of eyes. And imagination, perhaps the only route to being in another’s shoes, is constrained by our own experience and knowledge base. The self is bounded by itself. This can, of course, be very damaging. “Self-absorbed,” as oneContinue reading “The Limitations of Self”