I had not been to church in over three years. I had moved to another city. I had not informed The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints of my new address. I had, in fact, not had any contact with the church or its representatives for over three years. And yet, one cloudy dayContinue reading “Stalked by the Mormon Church”
Tag Archives: misogyny
Stalked by an Ex
I should have known. Top had never taken “no” for an answer before. I should have known that he would treat the breakup as a challenge rather than a fact. How? My therapist Sarah demanded, almost ten years later, when I told her this part of the story. I blinked at her. How could you haveContinue reading “Stalked by an Ex”
My Other Grandfather
My father’s father was made of different stuff. I never knew him as Grandpa because he died the year I was born. There is only one picture of us together, and in it, he sits stiff and unsmiling, his wire-rim glasses glinting at the camera. He has my father’s long solemn face and the sameContinue reading “My Other Grandfather”
Aquaphobia in the Aftermath
The British and Americans have been drowning women for centuries. Officially, the method for this punishment was the ducking stool, and one of its first documented uses was in 1597. The ducking stool was a medieval apparatus derived from the older cucking stool, a means akin to stocks, used to publicly humiliate women who defiedContinue reading “Aquaphobia in the Aftermath”
The Fifth Assault
One of the first things I learned in my study of trauma was that violence itself isn’t what traumatizes. It’s the lack of agency. Being slapped on your butt cheeks or even punched in the face by a stranger is startling and enraging to be sure. But for many of us, it won’t result inContinue reading “The Fifth Assault”
The Fourth Assault
I really believed the worst of it was behind me. I would graduate from college in less than two years, and I would leave my parents’ house, and I would be safe. I thought I could tell who was an abuser and who wasn’t. I knew I could tell the difference. I had to believeContinue reading “The Fourth Assault”
The End of Faith
Faith, the people who have it will tell you, can get you through anything. And that is so. But the loss of it can take from you everything you have left. I’d had a complicated relationship with God since I was 12. Ever since I invoked Mormon norms of fatherly conduct and my father beatContinue reading “The End of Faith”
The Second Assault
I am still in seventh grade, but I have made two friends. A girl at school. And another girl in my neighborhood. Stephanie. Stephanie is about two years younger than I am, but she is tall and willowy. She is part Cherokee and part white, and her long black hair shines. She talks of almostContinue reading “The Second Assault”
When Post-Traumatic Stress Begins
I wish I could tell you that was the end of it. I held an umbrella and felt strong, and suddenly I was better. There. All better now. A band-aid. A blessing. And I was all set to go. But that isn’t how trauma works. I am 12, and I don’t yet know that justContinue reading “When Post-Traumatic Stress Begins”
How the Sexism of The West Wing Turned Me off Sorkin
Back when it first aired, I reacted the way football fans do when their home team wins. I bounced up and down on my parents’ couch whenever the opening credits rolled over the American flag. I giggled at every zinger Josh got in, and I cheered Toby’s every moral triumph. I was also a blissfullyContinue reading “How the Sexism of The West Wing Turned Me off Sorkin”
The Trailer Park MFA 