Tag Archives: control

Nine Ways to Cope When You’re Stuck Inside

I’ve been at this for four years and counting. In early 2016, a medical provider ordered me to stop all work, and I was put on extended medical leave without pay. A few months later, my boss and I called it quits. After all, it was my second medical leave in six months. So IContinue reading “Nine Ways to Cope When You’re Stuck Inside”

Trump: All the Signs of an Abuser

TRIGGERING CONTENT Today is the eleventh day of the year. The same year that Donald J. Trump faces the looming prospect of a lost, or at least contentious, election. There is talk of an impending recession in the United States. He sits in the White House under impeachment due to multiple abuses of power. AccordingContinue reading “Trump: All the Signs of an Abuser”

Misunderstanding Feminism

We need some nuance here. We need to talk about the distinction between systemic, socialized misogyny and individuals who simply annoy us. That white man in his sixties who constantly talks at me—is he assuming that he’s entitled to my attention because I look female? Or is he a socially anxious extrovert who can’t shutContinue reading “Misunderstanding Feminism”

Gaslight (1944): How Abusers Destroy You

You apologize for things you didn’t do. You feel a wave of self-doubt whenever anyone points out that maybe you just misunderstood or maybe you didn’t remember right. Maybe it’s true, you tell yourself. You’re always messing up anyway. You look at others and feel inferior—when you can muster the courage to lift your eyesContinue reading “Gaslight (1944): How Abusers Destroy You”

The End of Family

The last time I saw my father was in Austin, Texas. I was 25. My brother and I flew down to see our parents with high hopes for their happiness. They said they loved the city, that they loved the pace of it, that they were happier there than in their Seattle suburb. My brotherContinue reading “The End of Family”

Stalked by an Ex

I should have known. Top had never taken “no” for an answer before. I should have known that he would treat the breakup as a challenge rather than a fact. How? My therapist Sarah demanded, almost ten years later, when I told her this part of the story. I blinked at her. How could you haveContinue reading “Stalked by an Ex”

Workaholism: When You Just Can’t Quit

Quitters are losers, right? But maybe you find yourself still up at 1:30 in the morning, working on a project that’s not exactly urgent. Alert and hyper-attentive to everything but your night-owl family member. And that’s when it hits you–you might be addicted to work. That was my realization, anyway. Workaholism goes by many definitions, but most boilContinue reading “Workaholism: When You Just Can’t Quit”

Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices

Please. Just please stop already. I know it comes from a good place. Kind of. But stop it. So here’s half of the problem: my librarian team has a wicked sweet tooth. Just saying. But here’s the other half: one library coworker has diabetes. His philosophy is to eat what he likes and take insulin shotsContinue reading “Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices”