CONTAINS TRIGGERING CONTENT To begin a story is necessarily to omit. If I begin my story of assault at age 12 with my father’s attack, then I am omitting my mother’s physical abuse. I am leaving out the fact that my earliest memories are full of violence not from men, but from a woman. AContinue reading “Prelude to the Assaults”
Category Archives: Memoir
Breaking Open the Story
CONTAINS TRIGGERING CONTENT Over the next few months, I am going to tell my story of assault and healing. Here. On this blog. I have survived nine assaults by men, the first at age 12 and the last at age 31. All of my attackers were friends or family whom I loved, trusted, and caredContinue reading “Breaking Open the Story”
Learning That Disability Isn’t Your Fault
“So I’m going to keep getting better, right?” I asked. My neurologist looked at me for a moment. “Probably not,” he said. “Migraines are an oversensitivity of the brain. There’s no cure for that. It will fluctuate. Some months you may have no symptoms, and then it will be very bad for several weeks because youContinue reading “Learning That Disability Isn’t Your Fault”
Facing up to My Disability and My Prejudices
According to the Migraine Research Foundation, 2% of the U.S. population suffers from chronic migraine, a severe disability that dramatically impacts quality of life. For some chronic migraineurs, the condition shifts from episodic to chronic because of long-term medication overuse. For others like myself who are new to migraine treatments, sometimes migraine simply becomes progressive,Continue reading “Facing up to My Disability and My Prejudices”
Passing Normal: When Your Mother Has Autism
I inherited an odd brain. When the winter sun hits the three o’clock slant and stares me straight in the face, I feel like my eye sockets are blistering–even with my eyelids squeezed shut. The wrong colors set my teeth on edge. Dusky reds and velvet purples soothe me. But whites, blues, yellows, and evenContinue reading “Passing Normal: When Your Mother Has Autism”
Five Great Lessons from Growing up Mormon
Anyone who knows me or reads my blog knows I’m a feminist and that I have some trouble with the doctrines and practices of the faith I was raised in. But I lived to tell the tale, and it’s a complex one. Despite the church’s uncomplicated position on feminism (Boyd K. Packer, who was recentlyContinue reading “Five Great Lessons from Growing up Mormon”
The Healing Grace of Friendship
My father, like most fathers of daughters, had no sense of fairness. On camping trips, he assigned my mother and me to dish duty while he and my brother built fires and checked fuel and lit lanterns. I asked to learn, and he always refused. Maybe he genuinely thought these were skills I’d never need.Continue reading “The Healing Grace of Friendship”
Guilt Is Just Laziness
I should be ashamed of myself. When I do something I shouldn’t–skip a workout, criticize someone in anger, or stay up so late I’m a bitch the next day–I feel guilty. And that’s usually where it ends. I check off the box that says I’m a good person and move on. It’s a problem. GuiltContinue reading “Guilt Is Just Laziness”
The Abuser in All of Us
Last night at Elliott Bay Book Company, author Val Brelinski read from her debut novel, The Girl Who Slept with God, and posed an impossible question: Is it possible to love another human being–parents, siblings, children, spouses–and not in some way damage the other person? Or is that part of the nature of intimate relationships?Continue reading “The Abuser in All of Us”
Why the Rape Wasn’t Your Fault: An Open Letter
A lot of blog posts address men who believe rape is, at least in part, the responsibility of the victim—rather than the rapist. Or they address men open to hearing about this experience in the hope of educating them and building allies. This post is going to be a little different. I’m writing just for theContinue reading “Why the Rape Wasn’t Your Fault: An Open Letter”
The Trailer Park MFA 
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