The Third Assault

All children are curious about sex. But teenagers are downright thirsty for it. I’m 16, and I may be Mormon, with big glasses and ankle-length skirts and hair down to my waist. But I’m no different. At church, in my Young Women’s class, a teacher asks, “And why should we wait to have sex untilContinue reading “The Third Assault”

Why the Rape Wasn’t Your Fault: An Open Letter

A lot of blog posts address men who believe rape is, at least in part, the responsibility of the victim—rather than the rapist. Or they address men open to hearing about this experience in the hope of educating them and building allies. This post is going to be a little different. I’m writing just for theContinue reading “Why the Rape Wasn’t Your Fault: An Open Letter”

Real Men Go for Real Women

A few weeks back, a guy was complaining to me about his girlfriend. Already earning a zero on the Classy Scale. “She’s just so dumb,” he said with a smirk. “Like, I can’t believe how dumb.” “She’s just young,” I said and ended the conversation soon after. I had no sympathy for the dude. InContinue reading “Real Men Go for Real Women”

How the LGBTQ Community Helped a Straight Girl Heal

I’m not saying that’s the point of the LGBTQ community. Hardly. But it’s a fact that throughout history, rights movements driven by one group inadvertently benefit others. The Civil Rights Movement empowered more than just blacks. The ADA improved accessibility for more than just the differently abled. So yes, even as a privileged straight whiteContinue reading “How the LGBTQ Community Helped a Straight Girl Heal”

Disrupting Porn Fantasies: Midnights at the Electric Blue Angel

A new work written by Josh Hornbeck (Heavy Lay the Chains, The Beating of a Warrior’s Heart), Midnights at the Electric Blue Angel swivels a white-hot spotlight onto porn fantasies and reveals the abusive sexual objectification that lies beneath. The play opens on two young people sipping coffee on a first date. Suddenly, a spotlightContinue reading “Disrupting Porn Fantasies: Midnights at the Electric Blue Angel”

Your Porn Is Making Me Crazy

Yes, you. We’ve got some talking to do. If your leading lady has become crazy and paranoid, I have a few tips for you. My brother and I were recently discussing the state of my sanity–always tenuous–when we veered into gender territory. I’m a woman; he’s a man. By default, he looks at my insecuritiesContinue reading “Your Porn Is Making Me Crazy”

So a Random Guy Pulls up and Asks If I Want a Ride

So I’m walking down my street with a full grocery bag when a guy pulls up to me in his car. He pulls up with his window down and looks me over and asks, “Want a ride?” I’ve never seen this guy anywhere in my life. So I wait for him to realize his mistake—because he must haveContinue reading “So a Random Guy Pulls up and Asks If I Want a Ride”

I Can’t Talk to Men

I mean it. I’m 33 years old, and it doesn’t matter if the dude is 21 or 41. If I find him remotely attractive, I’m a blathering, stammering mess. So over the weekend, I’m out with friends, and a handsome server goes around the table, taking everyone’s wine orders. And I begin to swell withContinue reading “I Can’t Talk to Men”

You Need to Stop Reading Those Dating Advice Sites

Seriously, people. Especially all you ladies out there. This one’s for you. From Cosmo to Marie Claire, columnists are happy to inform us straight women what men really want. And how to sculpt our behavior and personality to be more that. And less ourselves. As if that isn’t bad enough. But it gets worse. What most men want,Continue reading “You Need to Stop Reading Those Dating Advice Sites”