Safety

I knew safety was the first step towards healing after trauma. But I had thought that simply meant pushing my assailants out of my life and locking the door behind them. Done. I hadn’t understood that was only the beginning of the beginning. Safety is not achieved by the absence of the perpetrator. Safety isContinue reading “Safety”

Healing Through Dance

Because trauma is of the body, it must be healed through the body. I needed a safe space where I would be supported, where I could practice trust, where I could begin healing in my body. Only one place could offer me that. The dance studio. *             *             * I was 30 years old. IContinue reading “Healing Through Dance”

Passing Normal: When Your Mother Has Autism

I inherited an odd brain. When the winter sun hits the three o’clock slant and stares me straight in the face, I feel like my eye sockets are blistering–even with my eyelids squeezed shut. The wrong colors set my teeth on edge. Dusky reds and velvet purples soothe me. But whites, blues, yellows, and evenContinue reading “Passing Normal: When Your Mother Has Autism”

I Am Woman–And I Pump Iron

I’ve heard a lot of women balk at bulking up. But those big muscles? I’ll look like a man. Come on. That’s just insulting. Female bodybuilders train hard to get their glorious physique. To think that a few hours a week is all you need to bust some pecs like Schwarzenegger is either hubris orContinue reading “I Am Woman–And I Pump Iron”

On Dressing (and Undressing) at the Public Pool

Americans are weird about nudity. Maybe because we associate it exclusively with sex. To be a nudist in America is not just eccentric—it’s deviant. So deviant, in fact, that it’s illegal. You must have private property, fences, and warning signs—at the very least—to go topless, let alone in the buff. And I’m no exception to American puritanism.Continue reading “On Dressing (and Undressing) at the Public Pool”

Body as Home

I miss the roads along which I used to run. Running taught me many things. It taught me perseverance when things got tough. It taught me to respect the boundaries of a physical body, and to distinguish between when to push myself–and when to take it easy. It taught me my own fierce strength. And itContinue reading “Body as Home”