There’s been a lot of family talk lately about a relative of mine who left one abusive marriage only to recently end up in another. She has endured so much assault and abuse that what little of herself remains is embittered, territorial, and angry—even towards her own children. But how did her path turn out soContinue reading “How Hatred Helped Me Heal”
Category Archives: Musings
Why You Can’t Fight Anger with Anger, or It’s Not about You
Or, more precisely, you can. But you won’t win. We all have that special someone in our lives. That someone who challenges and unsettles us in ways we’d rather not be challenged. My very own special someone exudes hostility and anger into the atmosphere. And hostility and generalized anger are my Achilles’ heel–socially. I don’tContinue reading “Why You Can’t Fight Anger with Anger, or It’s Not about You”
How Losing My Home Just Before Christmas Turned out to Be a Very Good Thing
No one wants to be told to leave their own home. No one wants three and a half years of tenancy to end in a matter of minutes. And no one wants to enter the holidays homeless and thrown upon the charity of loved ones. But this is exactly what happened to me this Friday.Continue reading “How Losing My Home Just Before Christmas Turned out to Be a Very Good Thing”
Your Porn Is Making Me Crazy
Yes, you. We’ve got some talking to do. If your leading lady has become crazy and paranoid, I have a few tips for you. My brother and I were recently discussing the state of my sanity–always tenuous–when we veered into gender territory. I’m a woman; he’s a man. By default, he looks at my insecuritiesContinue reading “Your Porn Is Making Me Crazy”
Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices
Please. Just please stop already. I know it comes from a good place. Kind of. But stop it. So here’s half of the problem: my librarian team has a wicked sweet tooth. Just saying. But here’s the other half: one library coworker has diabetes. His philosophy is to eat what he likes and take insulin shotsContinue reading “Ladies: Stop Taking Responsibility for Other People’s Choices”
Navigating Religious Differences: An Agnostic Visits Christian Family
I grew up in a religious community that fanatically converted neighbors, friends, and relatives. A Sunday wouldn’t go by without a reminder to pick up extra copies of The Book of Mormon and hand them out when God so moved us. But the world grows thick with difference, and to cull the diversity through conversionContinue reading “Navigating Religious Differences: An Agnostic Visits Christian Family”
Why I Didn’t Play with Girls
When I was in kindergarten, my mom scheduled playdates to force me to socialize with other girls. My female playmates demanded compliments, played dolls with squeaky-high voices, and staged beauty pageants and dress-up games. Before the age of seven, they were checking themselves out in mirrors and fluffing their hair, just like their mothers. Within five minutes, IContinue reading “Why I Didn’t Play with Girls”
Why I Love Grad School, or Please Talk Career Options with Your Daughters
When I was 22, my undergraduate professors started to ask where I’d be going next. Everyone assumed it would be grad school. My art history professor, a supportive, wry-humored expert in Mexican art named Deborah Caplow, especially believed I would make a career for myself in art criticism and teaching. My future, cast in theirContinue reading “Why I Love Grad School, or Please Talk Career Options with Your Daughters”
Why We Still Need Feminism
Over the past eight months, about a dozen female celebrities have leapt from the feminist bandwagon as if it were a burning building. I’m not a feminist; I’m a humanist has become the new catchphrase of Hollywood’s women. Insisting that we’re beyond all that gender stuff now anyway, they have further stigmatized a term that, really, should long ago have ceased toContinue reading “Why We Still Need Feminism”
Saying Goodbye
One hour ago I packed up my housemate and leaned through the driver’s open window to tease her. Then, I stepped back. She spooled up her iPod, and her stereo’s bass thumped. We grinned. We had crammed her windows with socks and running shoes and an old clock, the folded flag from her father’s funeral. All the detritusContinue reading “Saying Goodbye”
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