Ten-Year Blogaversary!

I launched this blog ten years ago this month. Since December 2010, it’s been a wild ride, packed with ups and downs. I’ve divorced an abusive husband. I’ve performed again as a dancer. I’ve been assaulted—and assaulted again. I’ve graduated with my master’s degree in education. I’ve been felled by chronic illness so hard thatContinue reading “Ten-Year Blogaversary!”

Happiness Comes from the Shadows

Yesterday my coworkers and I were discussing Swedish thrillers and horror movies. “Yeah,” one of them said. “Sure, it’s one of the happiest places on earth. But what’s really behind all that happiness?” We each had our hypotheses. Mine was that alongside that highly developed happiness, there is also a highly developed id. But then,Continue reading “Happiness Comes from the Shadows”

10 Ways to Be a Kickass Feminist, Part 2

Two roads diverged in a wood: To kick ass, or not to kick ass? My friends and I aspire to the former, so here’s the final five of my top ten ways to be a badass feminist: Stop reading those dating advice sites. First of all, it will make you paranoid. Just take a lookContinue reading “10 Ways to Be a Kickass Feminist, Part 2”

10 Ways to Be a Kickass Feminist

My own definition of a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better. – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Sometimes, though, I need reminders of my own awesomenessContinue reading “10 Ways to Be a Kickass Feminist”

Is It Wisdom, or Is It Perspective?

“They just don’t get it.” Two of my co-workers were commiserating about their teenagers again. “Right,” the other one replied. “They just don’t get how it makes other people feel. And they’re so hurtful. I tell them it’s just not nice to talk that way to grown-ups.” I decided to put my foot in it.Continue reading “Is It Wisdom, or Is It Perspective?”

Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There

Anger, like depression, is a stress response, and both can shorten our life expectancy. I’ve been facing some hard facts lately, and one of them is that I go around packing anger like a loaded gun. Still. Don’t get me wrong. Anger serves us well in many situations. It protects us from people who wouldContinue reading “Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There”

The Gentleness of Contentment

It tiptoes in so lightly you hardly notice it. Not if you’re accustomed to gyrating mosh pits and rock stars screaming into sound systems that boom through stadiums. Not even if you’ve simply learned to read a paperback novel over friends shouting about Jane’s breakup across city streets or have learned to carry on conversationsContinue reading “The Gentleness of Contentment”

The Problem

So I’m not the kind of student I used to be. I used to be Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, Teacher’s Pet, all that nonsense. I wanted my teachers to like me, since my parents didn’t. It was a kind of passive-aggressive revenge that–surprise!–didn’t really work. Abusers don’t look at all the people who like you and rethinkContinue reading “The Problem”

How Dr. Who Is Getting Me Through Grad School

Well, not financially of course. But emotionally? Psychologically? Yeah. My fiancé introduced me to the series last year, just a few months ago. And I took to it like a salmon to the Sound. By the time I finish my homework for the day, my brain is dribbling out of my ears like gruel. IContinue reading “How Dr. Who Is Getting Me Through Grad School”

How Rage Is Shutting Down American Politics

As a high school and college student, I aspired to change the world. I binge-watched The West Wing before binge-watching was a thing. I talked with friends about becoming a lobbyist and engaged in passionate debates about American and global politics. I idolized the Supreme Court and read its decisions with finger-tingling excitement. I evenContinue reading “How Rage Is Shutting Down American Politics”