Tag Archives: healing

Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There

Anger, like depression, is a stress response, and both can shorten our life expectancy. I’ve been facing some hard facts lately, and one of them is that I go around packing anger like a loaded gun. Still. Don’t get me wrong. Anger serves us well in many situations. It protects us from people who wouldContinue reading “Learning to Live with the Demon That’s Always There”

On Seeing My Father’s Face for the First Time in Nine Years

I can’t say for sure exactly why, but two days ago, I sat down at my computer, opened Google, and typed in my parents’ names. I was overcome with longing to find out what had ever happened to them. We haven’t spoken in nine years. I hadn’t felt the least bit curious before in allContinue reading “On Seeing My Father’s Face for the First Time in Nine Years”

How Rage Is Shutting Down American Politics

As a high school and college student, I aspired to change the world. I binge-watched The West Wing before binge-watching was a thing. I talked with friends about becoming a lobbyist and engaged in passionate debates about American and global politics. I idolized the Supreme Court and read its decisions with finger-tingling excitement. I evenContinue reading “How Rage Is Shutting Down American Politics”

How the LGBTQ Community Helped a Straight Girl Heal

I’m not saying that’s the point of the LGBTQ community. Hardly. But it’s a fact that throughout history, rights movements driven by one group inadvertently benefit others. The Civil Rights Movement empowered more than just blacks. The ADA improved accessibility for more than just the differently abled. So yes, even as a privileged straight whiteContinue reading “How the LGBTQ Community Helped a Straight Girl Heal”

When a City Reminds You of Those You’ve Lost

I had a best friend a few years back. A straight guy. Which maybe should have tipped me off. But I’d known him since middle school. We’d been chummy for many years, and he had gradually become a second brother to me. Year after year, we ambled down Third Avenue in chilly November rain andContinue reading “When a City Reminds You of Those You’ve Lost”

How Hatred Helped Me Heal

There’s been a lot of family talk lately about a relative of mine who left one abusive marriage only to recently end up in another. She has endured so much assault and abuse that what little of herself remains is embittered, territorial, and angry—even towards her own children. But how did her path turn out soContinue reading “How Hatred Helped Me Heal”

Why You Can’t Fight Anger with Anger, or It’s Not about You

Or, more precisely, you can. But you won’t win. We all have that special someone in our lives. That someone who challenges and unsettles us in ways we’d rather not be challenged. My very own special someone exudes hostility and anger into the atmosphere. And hostility and generalized anger are my Achilles’ heel–socially. I don’tContinue reading “Why You Can’t Fight Anger with Anger, or It’s Not about You”

All in the Family

I imagine my mother at my age. A little older. Maybe 36. It’s all she has left, she tells herself. And then she flips the switch. The motor hums. And she leans into the sharp light at her sewing machine and plows another seam. One woman mattered to my mother more than any other: herContinue reading “All in the Family”

The Videogame That Changed My Life

I’m not a gamer. I didn’t even know what IRL meant until a few months ago. Shameful, for a girl from Seattle. But then, I came up against a challenge that nothing but a videogame was going to get me through. In July 2013, I was in excruciating pain. I couldn’t turn my head more thanContinue reading “The Videogame That Changed My Life”

Truth Will Out: Stop Silencing and Start Talking

When I was 25 years old, I opened a conversation with my parents about the past. Or tried to. I asked my parents some difficult questions. I wanted to hear their own experience of our family history. I wanted to rip off the blood-crusted bandages, so we could all begin to heal. My family had operatedContinue reading “Truth Will Out: Stop Silencing and Start Talking”