How Do You Find Your Courage?

I just started swimming lessons at the local public pool. The bleachers are dotted with parents thumbing through their phones, and the pool foams with children in orange and green swim caps. In perfect formation, they churn the lanes (“You got quite a boil going there,” one teacher calls to the most energetic swimmer. “You trying to cookContinue reading “How Do You Find Your Courage?”

The Hazards–and Rewards–of Literature for the Feminist

Nothing like old love to remind you of who you have been, and who you have become. So I just picked up my favorite novel for yet another re-reading. At 17, when Mr. Hansen assigned All the King’s Men for my Honors English class, it was love at first sight. The first-person narrator, Jack Burden, ranks among AmericanContinue reading “The Hazards–and Rewards–of Literature for the Feminist”

Reblog Friday: Sally Kohn and Respect for Your Political Opponents

This Friday I raise my glass of Syrah to Sally Kohn. In her six-minute TED talk, she cuts to the heart of exactly what’s missing from American politics: compassion and respect in our political discourse. And liberals get as much as the blame as conservatives. As a progressive lesbian among heterosexual conservatives at FOX News, KohnContinue reading “Reblog Friday: Sally Kohn and Respect for Your Political Opponents”

10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life

It’s been fun blogging about dating this week, since I’m so new to the concept. But I wanted to close with a few thoughts on being single. Between the ages of 20 and 30, I was in a committed relationship with one man. In essence, I grew up in that relationship. But since the divorce,Continue reading “10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life”

My First Date at 32

When people ask why I’ve never dated, I give the most obvious reasons. Glasses. An unhealthy obsession with Shakespeare. Shyness. Yellowed teeth. All ribs and knees, without much figure to speak of. And when I’m not writing, I’m reading. Basically, I’m boring and bookish. And guys don’t ask me out because dating, in American culture,Continue reading “My First Date at 32”

Why Online Dating Is a Nonstarter

  So I’m not a big hit with men. Just putting that out there. I had my first date, American-style, at the age of 32. And yes, I’ve been married, but it was for political and legal reasons. No rings. No reception. Most importantly, no cake. Most of my oldest friends still don’t know it everContinue reading “Why Online Dating Is a Nonstarter”

You Need to Stop Reading Those Dating Advice Sites

Seriously, people. Especially all you ladies out there. This one’s for you. From Cosmo to Marie Claire, columnists are happy to inform us straight women what men really want. And how to sculpt our behavior and personality to be more that. And less ourselves. As if that isn’t bad enough. But it gets worse. What most men want,Continue reading “You Need to Stop Reading Those Dating Advice Sites”

Reblog Friday: Never Give Up

Diana Nyad broke world records when she swam from Cuba to Florida–a feat no swimmer had achieved–at the age of 64. In her speech at TED, she tells her story of that swim with humor and wisdom and resolve. And since all endurance sports involve failures–including life itself–she reminds us that whatever the outcome, “the journey itself was worthwhileContinue reading “Reblog Friday: Never Give Up”

Lost in the Woods

So I’m at that point in the novel writing process that scares the chewing gum out of me. *hack, spit, cough* I’ve got the plot refined, the beats nailed down, the scene list listed. Life should be great. Right? And it is. Don’t get me wrong. Having the freedom and the time to write daily is aContinue reading “Lost in the Woods”

12 Ways to Scare Yourself Silly in 2014

Eleanor Roosevelt once advised, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I’ve always thought aiming for that daily was a bit much. Maybe once a week? But courage is a muscle, a skill. I’m not a brave person by nature. I’m timid and prefer my routines. And, like most people I’ve met, I have to train myself toContinue reading “12 Ways to Scare Yourself Silly in 2014”