I mean it. I’m 33 years old, and it doesn’t matter if the dude is 21 or 41. If I find him remotely attractive, I’m a blathering, stammering mess. So over the weekend, I’m out with friends, and a handsome server goes around the table, taking everyone’s wine orders. And I begin to swell withContinue reading “I Can’t Talk to Men”
Category Archives: Musings
On Dressing (and Undressing) at the Public Pool
Americans are weird about nudity. Maybe because we associate it exclusively with sex. To be a nudist in America is not just eccentric—it’s deviant. So deviant, in fact, that it’s illegal. You must have private property, fences, and warning signs—at the very least—to go topless, let alone in the buff. And I’m no exception to American puritanism.Continue reading “On Dressing (and Undressing) at the Public Pool”
Trust the Not-Knowing
Because sometimes the honest place is the empty place. The place of uncertainty. I’ve been talking a lot with my brother lately–this skinny white guy from a West Coast suburb who now works as an engineer on the East Coast. We’ve been talking about privilege, race, gender, social class, and orientation. I love my brother. AndContinue reading “Trust the Not-Knowing”
Winners and Losers
Today a middle-aged Korean woman and I learned that American culture divides people into winners and losers. Or so her ESL textbook assured us. Americans view life as a “race for success,” the textbook authors claimed. Those who play the game well are rewarded. And those who don’t? They can feel useless and devalued, sinceContinue reading “Winners and Losers”
Into the Gray
I have a problem. I love certainty. Labels. Categories. Classifications: fiction or nonfiction, ethical or unethical, subject or verb. As a child, I crammed a pine bookcase with glossy paperbacks of E.B White and Louisa May Alcott and Lloyd Alexander. I lined up the little volumes alphabetically and counted them when I needed reassurance that the world spun onContinue reading “Into the Gray”
Pimpology: Women at Market Price
That’s right, gentlemen. Step right up. In 48 lessons, you too can learn how to collect, manage, and sell your very own stable of prostitutes. You too can pimp your way to fame and fortune. Learn the game from this industry-recognized pimp. The American dream can be yours! I wish I were joking. But thisContinue reading “Pimpology: Women at Market Price”
The Wisdom of Humility
Today an Iranian friend called me humble. Coming from her, it was a profound compliment. It warmed my soul. But is it true? What is humility anyway? And why do some cultures value it and others, like mine, scoff at it? All I can do is put in my two cents. And here’s what IContinue reading “The Wisdom of Humility”
How Do You Find Your Courage?
I just started swimming lessons at the local public pool. The bleachers are dotted with parents thumbing through their phones, and the pool foams with children in orange and green swim caps. In perfect formation, they churn the lanes (“You got quite a boil going there,” one teacher calls to the most energetic swimmer. “You trying to cookContinue reading “How Do You Find Your Courage?”
The Hazards–and Rewards–of Literature for the Feminist
Nothing like old love to remind you of who you have been, and who you have become. So I just picked up my favorite novel for yet another re-reading. At 17, when Mr. Hansen assigned All the King’s Men for my Honors English class, it was love at first sight. The first-person narrator, Jack Burden, ranks among AmericanContinue reading “The Hazards–and Rewards–of Literature for the Feminist”
10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life
It’s been fun blogging about dating this week, since I’m so new to the concept. But I wanted to close with a few thoughts on being single. Between the ages of 20 and 30, I was in a committed relationship with one man. In essence, I grew up in that relationship. But since the divorce,Continue reading “10 Reasons to Celebrate the Single Life”
The Trailer Park MFA 
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