Why I Don’t Have a Therapist…For Now

Don’t get me wrong. Therapists are a vital resource, and everyone should have affordable, easy access. From talk therapy to CBT to prescriptions and support groups, we all deserve to live in a world where whatever works for us is available and affordable. I’ve turned to therapists in the past, and they’ve been a hugeContinue reading “Why I Don’t Have a Therapist…For Now”

Trauma Stuck Points

Between my twelfth and thirteenth birthdays, I became a different person. At 12, I was still skipping down the corridors at school, shouting jokes to friends. I was the kid who helped new students adjust. Who tutored classmates when they fell behind in spelling. I was generous, boisterous, and fun-loving. I was also boastful, cocksure.Continue reading “Trauma Stuck Points”

What Are You So Afraid of?

If I’m being honest? Well, everything. Let’s start with coconuts. If you’ve never spared a thought for what can fall out of trees and kill you, maybe you should. In 1777, a woman in the Cook Islands was killed by a falling coconut. In 1952, a coconut murdered an infant. In 1966, a perfectly innocentContinue reading “What Are You So Afraid of?”

Why I’m Loving the Enneagram

Personality psychology, several of my college professors asserted, is the least scientific branch of psychology. And I get it. There are about as many models for personality as there are models of cars. It’s also a field where, like the study of intelligence, it can be hard to come up with reliable evidence. Results tendContinue reading “Why I’m Loving the Enneagram”

7 Tips When Your Friend Has a Chronic Illness

Maybe this sounds like it should be common sense. People should just know, you say. But what if people weren’t raised well? Like me. What if they’re kind of feral and can be thoughtless and ill-mannered socially? Also me. Or what if someone is only beginning to examine their own ableism and would like to moveContinue reading “7 Tips When Your Friend Has a Chronic Illness”

Create Nuanced Characters with a Writer’s Journal

When I was in my twenties, I wrote loads of crap. I say this with pride, not shame. Hey, I was learning. Still am. The key was that I wrote loads–and that I practiced until each piece became a tiny bit better than the last. But here was the contributing factor to the crap part:Continue reading “Create Nuanced Characters with a Writer’s Journal”

Discomfort Required

I’m talking about the kind of discomfort that challenges us, by taking us exactly where we need to go. Audre Lorde, activist and writer, once wrote, “The severe abstinence of the ascetic…is one not of self-discipline but of self-abnegation.” When I read this at the age of 21, the ground shifted beneath my feet. WithContinue reading “Discomfort Required”

Stacking Stones

Library stacks are underappreciated. People come, they browse, they select, they leave. Dusty and solitary, books are left to their quiet existence on the shelves. But I’ve worked in a library for eight years, and I’m telling you–it’s not like that. The stacks are, for me, as sacred and meditative a space as any ofContinue reading “Stacking Stones”