It was the second-to-last assault. Jonathan was my best friend at the time, and when he stepped forward to hug me hours after the assault, with no acknowledgement of or apology for his earlier use of force, I felt the ground sink under my feet. Two giant hands seemed to press down on my skull.Continue reading “I Feel Ashamed of My Chronic Illness”
Category Archives: Health
The Four Stages of Migraine
At the age of 31, I learned that the body is irrevocably tied to others. After violence from two young men, my health rapidly deteriorated. Migraines became more frequent and eventually chronic. Within three years, I had become too disabled to work. Our culture tells us that health and weight signal personal virtue. That “willContinue reading “The Four Stages of Migraine”
Handling Resentment
I’m not a pro at this. I’m not here to give advice. I’m just saying that sometimes I look at people who’ve had it easier than I did for their first 30 years on this planet—people who have the education, the financial stability, the family—and who think they have all that because they’re awesome. NotContinue reading “Handling Resentment”
Gratitude
It’s been two weeks since the MRI. One and a half weeks since the results: Normal. Normal. Unremarkable. Normal. No edemas. No infarcts. No tumors. My brain is clear. No cancer. Nothing structural that would cause these symptoms. They are exclusively electrochemical, and they will not kill me. I had expected good results would leadContinue reading “Gratitude”
Life and Death
I apologize for being MIA the last week and a half. Things have been happening. Those of you who have been following me for a while know that I have chronic migraines. I developed migraines shortly after the first assault I survived at age 12, and they became chronic shortly after the last assault atContinue reading “Life and Death”
Learning That Disability Isn’t Your Fault
“So I’m going to keep getting better, right?” I asked. My neurologist looked at me for a moment. “Probably not,” he said. “Migraines are an oversensitivity of the brain. There’s no cure for that. It will fluctuate. Some months you may have no symptoms, and then it will be very bad for several weeks because youContinue reading “Learning That Disability Isn’t Your Fault”
Facing up to My Disability and My Prejudices
According to the Migraine Research Foundation, 2% of the U.S. population suffers from chronic migraine, a severe disability that dramatically impacts quality of life. For some chronic migraineurs, the condition shifts from episodic to chronic because of long-term medication overuse. For others like myself who are new to migraine treatments, sometimes migraine simply becomes progressive,Continue reading “Facing up to My Disability and My Prejudices”
Passing Normal: When Your Mother Has Autism
I inherited an odd brain. When the winter sun hits the three o’clock slant and stares me straight in the face, I feel like my eye sockets are blistering–even with my eyelids squeezed shut. The wrong colors set my teeth on edge. Dusky reds and velvet purples soothe me. But whites, blues, yellows, and evenContinue reading “Passing Normal: When Your Mother Has Autism”
How Chronic Illness Made Me a Champion Worrywart
I worry about everything. Barometric pressure. Fluorescent lights. Hormones. My bedtime. You name it, I can fret over it. So move over, Muhammad Ali: I’m the Greatest! I can worry anyone into the ground. Try me. Here is a short list of things that worry me on a regular basis. Each one has knocked meContinue reading “How Chronic Illness Made Me a Champion Worrywart”
Women Running: A Feminist History
We go back at least 2500 years, to the Heraean Games of ancient Greece–the women-only version of the Olympics held every four years and led by a committee of 16 female leaders. Or we can turn to Sparta, the most egalitarian of Greece’s city-states where young women regularly competed in footraces, and men chose wivesContinue reading “Women Running: A Feminist History”
The Trailer Park MFA 