Category Archives: Musings

My First Date at 32

When people ask why I’ve never dated, I give the most obvious reasons. Glasses. An unhealthy obsession with Shakespeare. Shyness. Yellowed teeth. All ribs and knees, without much figure to speak of. And when I’m not writing, I’m reading. Basically, I’m boring and bookish. And guys don’t ask me out because dating, in American culture,Continue reading “My First Date at 32”

Why Online Dating Is a Nonstarter

  So I’m not a big hit with men. Just putting that out there. I had my first date, American-style, at the age of 32. And yes, I’ve been married, but it was for political and legal reasons. No rings. No reception. Most importantly, no cake. Most of my oldest friends still don’t know it everContinue reading “Why Online Dating Is a Nonstarter”

You Need to Stop Reading Those Dating Advice Sites

Seriously, people. Especially all you ladies out there. This one’s for you. From Cosmo to Marie Claire, columnists are happy to inform us straight women what men really want. And how to sculpt our behavior and personality to be more that. And less ourselves. As if that isn’t bad enough. But it gets worse. What most men want,Continue reading “You Need to Stop Reading Those Dating Advice Sites”

12 Ways to Scare Yourself Silly in 2014

Eleanor Roosevelt once advised, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I’ve always thought aiming for that daily was a bit much. Maybe once a week? But courage is a muscle, a skill. I’m not a brave person by nature. I’m timid and prefer my routines. And, like most people I’ve met, I have to train myself toContinue reading “12 Ways to Scare Yourself Silly in 2014”

Recap of 2013 in Poetry

behind drawn curtains it’s so much easier to simply say you are confused. As a matter of belief. A white girl from the suburbs. Becoming aware of privilege on Saturday night. Your grandmother’s age-freckled hands around her favorite teacup Dog tags clicked against his chest our capacity to endure grief— what really counts in aContinue reading “Recap of 2013 in Poetry”

The Meaning Plot

The hardest part after the holidays is seeing off the family and friends I love best. Saturday night on Seattle’s light rail line, it was far too quiet with my brother boarding his flight to DC. So I got to thinking. What does it mean to live in the modern world? What does it mean to liveContinue reading “The Meaning Plot”

Why American Students Lag Behind

Every so many months, another article gets trotted out in the news. American students have fallen further behind their peers in China, Norway, Sweden, Korea, Japan, Singapore, the U.K, and elsewhere. The common analysis is that our teachers are overburdened and poorly trained, and our math and science curricula fall short. But it’s taboo to talk aboutContinue reading “Why American Students Lag Behind”

42 and the Truth about Racism

Many American films about the pre-Civil Rights era depict black Americans as noble and long-suffering with whites equally one-dimensional: either hateful bigots or supportive do-gooders. 42 is not one of those films. Brian Helgeland’s script traces Jackie Robinson’s first season with the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947, as the first black ballplayer in the Major Leagues.Continue reading “42 and the Truth about Racism”

The World Needs More Ambitious Women

And a big part of this is on men. We need you–as our fathers, brothers, friends, and lovers–to encourage us to strut our stuff. Intellectually. Academically. Professionally. A lot of men I meet are plenty comfortable with their woman earning more. It’s the idea of a woman knowing more–having a higher IQ, a more advanced degree–that getsContinue reading “The World Needs More Ambitious Women”