Category Archives: Memoir

My First Date at 32

When people ask why I’ve never dated, I give the most obvious reasons. Glasses. An unhealthy obsession with Shakespeare. Shyness. Yellowed teeth. All ribs and knees, without much figure to speak of. And when I’m not writing, I’m reading. Basically, I’m boring and bookish. And guys don’t ask me out because dating, in American culture,Continue reading “My First Date at 32”

The Meaning Plot

The hardest part after the holidays is seeing off the family and friends I love best. Saturday night on Seattle’s light rail line, it was far too quiet with my brother boarding his flight to DC. So I got to thinking. What does it mean to live in the modern world? What does it mean to liveContinue reading “The Meaning Plot”

When Character Counts

We all make assumptions. Every day. You assume that your waiter will take your order in a timely manner and treat you with decency. You assume that you will flip a switch, and the light will come on. And most of us assume that certain jobs can tell us certain things about the people who hold them. AtContinue reading “When Character Counts”

Beautiful Boys

Today at the college, a freshman hunched over the form I handed him, checking off boxes. Male. Under 25. Native language Mongolian. He shouldn’t have had to fill it out again. The writing center where I work had misplaced his file, and the young man was understandably frustrated. But this wasn’t your average freshman sulk.Continue reading “Beautiful Boys”

Body as Home

I miss the roads along which I used to run. Running taught me many things. It taught me perseverance when things got tough. It taught me to respect the boundaries of a physical body, and to distinguish between when to push myself–and when to take it easy. It taught me my own fierce strength. And itContinue reading “Body as Home”

Misogyny Is Alive and Well

So I’m at the bus stop this morning writing on my laptop, when a guy walks up to me. He shouts at me over my headphones. He juts his face over my screen. After two minutes of typing through innuendo blended with outrage, I pull out an ear bud. Me: “Sorry, but I really needContinue reading “Misogyny Is Alive and Well”

Further Thoughts on Privilege

Privilege is just a matter of everything you don’t have to think about–but that other people do. Today I bought a wheelie bag for my laptop and books. With spinal arthritis, I simply can no longer support the weight of a backpack or messenger bag. But now I have to think about sidewalks. Curbs. BusContinue reading “Further Thoughts on Privilege”

Falling into Loss

Is our capacity to endure grief fixed at birth–like temperament? Is it a limited resource? Or is it a skill? A muscle that must be developed? And if we only have so much strength in us, what happens once we use it up? For nearly 16 months, I’ve experienced pain in my lower back, painContinue reading “Falling into Loss”

Poetry in the Garden

When I read the world’s first novel The Tale of Genji, I was a skeptic. Characters spoke to one another in lines of poetry. Romantic, sure—but unlikely. Until my stroll through the Seattle Japanese Garden on Sunday. I realized Lady Murasaki knew her stuff, and she was doing a lot more than building literary allusions. Suddenly,Continue reading “Poetry in the Garden”

The Desirable World

Tonight I attended Lynda Mapes’s reading from her recent book, Elwha: A River Reborn. She chronicles the world’s largest dam removal project, which began in 2011 right here in Washington state. More interesting, though, were the audience questions: What unintended consequences do you foresee? Is there any discussion of the complex issues this raises–as dismantling the sourceContinue reading “The Desirable World”